Common Misconceptions Of Mindfulness With Children – Makes Them Calmer, Makes Them Happier.

The consistent misconception around mindfulness I hear from parents, teachers & children is that mindfulness practices make children calmer and happier.

This isn’t strictly true. Children who practice mindfulness are actually just as calm or ‘uncalm’ as they have ever been & they are often ‘running on’ the same amount of happiness or unhappiness as they have been before mindfulness was introduced into their lives.

What mindfulness practice does provide for children is support for difficult situations. Every child whether they practice mindfulness or not should and will regularly find the world tough. They will often not get what they want and get the things they don’t want. This causes them distress. Whether it is with friendships, in their learning outcomes or simply wanting something they can’t have.

If you offer no support or tools to children who find themselves in uncomfortable & upsetting positions they may abandon what they are doing or negative emotions will overwhelm them regularly and they can’t function.

But if it is you as the teacher or parent run over and try to rescue the child from this ill-ease too quickly and too comfortingly, the message you send is that it is was right to get upset because failure or frustration are terrible things that we should avoid as much as possible! This isn’t the reality we live in. Life is full of sufferings; like being attached to concepts of ourself or a desire to have things a certain way.

Its in these incidents mindfulness practices should be encouraged and will help children. Encourage children to persist but suggest a period of mindful breathing or a friendly but ultimately matter-of-fact kind of response to their upset. This gives a more mindful, positive and ultimately realistic message about how to deal with issues in a calmer and happier way.

Just Because I Practice Mindfulness, Doesn’t Mean I’m Perfect.

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Well that wasn’t very mindful‘. – The dreaded accusation that can be thrown at anyone who ‘outs’ that they practice mindfulness.

When difficulties have arisen with parents in the past in relation to them or my interactions with their children I have had to deal with this statement.

It’s a difficult one because more often than I would like I do do things that are indeed ‘not mindful’ or compassionate!

My intention is to be as mindful as I can. This can fluctuate from day to day, hour to hour and unless you are a Buddha, a guru, Jesus – (or an estate agent 😉 ) you will sometimes do things that aren’t always compassionate. I’m a learner of mindfulness just like the children and my other co-workers.

What concerns me about the introduction of mindfulness into education is the unattainable expectations that could come with it; from parents and staff, to children and management/leadership.

What is required is a supportive atmosphere – where people are not demonised for what they haven’t done mindfully, but rather celebrate the everyday mindfulness they do conduct and the effort that is being put in.